Summer training can be very challenging for me. While I have gotten better at how I feel about running in the heat, I still slow down quite a bit. Hitting goal marathon pace requires so much more effort, and some days, it just isn’t in the cards. I should have known that preparing for an August marathon would beat me up. To top it off, I’ve had some work stress, renewed surges of grief for my mom and two dogs we have lost (Brüski passed away on July 25th last year, which would have been my mom’s 65th birthday, and we lost Schnitzel to an aggressive skin cancer on July 31 in 2015), plus we are in the middle of a bathroom renovation that is cutting into my sleep.
It has all led up to a couple of tough weeks of training, yo-yoing back and forth between being feeling okay one day, then tanking the next. It’s been especially apparent on long runs. I can keep moving for hours and miles, but combining speed and endurance… woof.
After another poor long run, I started questioning my goals for Sioux Falls. Initially, this marathon was just part of the build toward my goal race, the Indiana Trail 50 Mile. Sometimes I get greedy with my goals, and I wanted to see if I could manage a small marathon PR, even if I’m focused on a trail ultra. I pushed forth to see what could happen, and put a lot of pressure on myself to hit workout paces all the while building mileage toward the edge of my comport zone. And… I stopped having fun.
Usually long runs are my favorite, but I actually started dreading them. I was judging each long run by two different standards. 1) Did it help prepare me for marathon success? And 2) Did it support the ultra build? The answer has often been a big 1) heck no, and 2) hell yes! which felt confusing and kind of frustrating.
I decided I want to have fun again. I don’t know if I’m going to go for a marathon PR or not, to be honest. It may be a race day decision. If I do, it will be secondary to my new “A” goal for the race: Getting a new state for the first time in a long time in my quest to run a marathon in all 50 states. That is enough for this race, a goal exciting in its own right.
South Dakota, state no. 14, here I come!