TL;DR version: Marathon #15 is in the books! Carmel Marathon, 3:35:08. It feels weird to get a two-minute and change PR and still be disappointed. At the end of the day, I put in what felt like a lot of extra effort for such a small gain. I was swinging for something bigger, but my legs fell apart. Luckily I had enough time in the bank to make my C goal: a PR in any amount.
The nitty gritty:
Maybe I got greedy. I cheated a little on my own goal setting rules. My A goal was 3:15, a mammoth swing from my 3:37:20 PR from Missoula. B goal was 3:25, a time I felt very much in shape for. The old me would have chosen 3:25 as my A goal. C would have been just finish and find joy. But, ya know, I wanted to see what I could do and rules are meant to be broken. And I think I do I have more speed in these legs yet.
It was a rough start well before race day. Right before my final long run leading up to Carmel, some tight calf/achilles issues popped up. My coach Anna suggested delaying the long run and dropping the planned marathon pace work. Instead of 23 miles with 10 middle miles at marathon pace on Saturday, I pushed to Monday, and went for a relatively steady and thankfully pain free 20 miles at 8:15 pace. While I wished I had the confidence of nailing that final long run with MP work, it seemed like we dodged a bullet.
Then on Tuesday of race week, some quad pain popped up out of the blue. I skipped my short Wednesday run, foam rolled, stretched and crossed my fingers. I felt good by Thursday, though not 100%. By my shakeout on Friday, there were no signs of pain, yet it got in my head as a possible issue. I was still worried the calf pain might come back too. The delayed long run had eaten into my taper. I wasn’t feeling as rested and energized as I normally do.
All of that was in my head, but I knew I had put in a lot of really quality training. I fueled and rested well the night before. On race morning, the weather was a snappy 31 degrees with a little wind, the kind of cool temps I can thrive in.
Unfortunately, Louie and I were late leaving the house. This is the kind of race day snafu that I’m not used to because I travel for most races. I’m much more practiced at being in unknown places where I give a lot of extra buffer for unknowns. By the time we got to Carmel, I had to shorten my warm up to just .6 of a mile to make it for a team photo that didn’t work out.
After failing to find anyone, I discovered the bathroom lines were incredibly long and slow moving (I always choose the wrong line!). I actually had to run from the porta to the gear check to drop my bag, then to the start line (so I guess technically I got in another “warm up”). Contrast this with my preferred race start: standing quietly and still (for the yogis out there, tadasana pose is my pre-race jam), taking even breaths, getting into a calm and confident mode.
I made it to the 4:20 pacer when the field started moving. The race had begun and I was stuck way back in the field, which required a fair amount of weaving early on. I should have relaxed more and just let things open up. Mile one took a lot of energy yet was just barely sub-8.
I spent the next three miles working to get to the 3:20 pacer. My intention had been to start with this group, and see what kind of day I had in me. I had played out multiple scenarios, including a bad day where I hung onto the group for dear life as long as possible, or a great one where they kept me from going out too fast and I stuck with them to get some consistent miles in before a slow burn into a faster pace, running my own race after the half. I caught up with the group at mile 4 and was feeling smooth and pretty relaxed. Miles 5, 6, and 7 ticked off in a flash. I actually thought there was a chance that slow burn scenario might still play out, just with a very different beginning than I had imagined.
Mile 8. A familiar ache in the quad. It was back, but mild. Tolerable. I backed off just a little, but not much. I put in another couple of decent near goal pace miles without feeling physically limited by the pain. Though all the questions that pop up with something like this were weighing on my mind. Would it get worse if I keep pushing the pace? Would I cause a longer term injury? What if I was forced to walk? What if I couldn’t finish at all?
Miles 10-12 were rough. My pace started dipping bit by bit, and I didn’t have the fight in my legs to push. This was really early for me to lose momentum in a marathon. I’m generally good through at the very least 16, though more often my weak spot is 22. But mile 12?! Not even halfway through. Ouch.
The course turns onto the Monon Trail during this stretch, and I was running mostly solo in a place where I log a lot of miles. I started to feel like I was just on some ho-hum training run. Here was a mental challenge I hadn’t anticipated. It really put me in a funk.
Between 12-13, I passed the spot where Louie was DJing and a few friends were there cheering me on. That definitely helped pull me out of my head and I rallied for one more sub-8 mile. But after that my momentum was gone.
Some other things added up to this not being my day. I knew there were some hills on the course, and despite feeling prepared for them, they were a factor. The Monon becoming a powerful wind tunnel ground me down a little more.
The quad pain actually dulled out and into a more generalized leg fatigue you expect with 20+ miles, but by then, I was stuck in the gear of 8:30-40s. I wasn’t actually sure I would still be able to pull off that C goal until I was in the final mile.
As I approached the finish line, I found that reserve to ramp it up just a little. I saw the clock from a distance read something like 3:36:30, which lit a fire. The guy next to me thought I was racing him, but it was me realizing just how close I was cutting that PR. Of course, I went through the start line late, so it wasn’t as close as it seemed, but it always feels good to fly strong through the finish.
With relief to be done, I picked up the biggest medal I think I’ve ever gotten, some snacks, and a piping hot pancake. I slow-rolled the half mile back to Louie’s DJ spot. My legs felt surprisingly not bad, which was simultaneously confusing, frustrating, and also a relief. It had turned into a beautiful day with a bright blue sky.
Even though it wasn’t the day I wanted, I was reminded why I love marathoning. Yep, I suffered, but I’ll sign up again. There is nothing like that feeling of pushing through all the obstacles, finding a way to keep going, remembering to smile even when it gets tough.
I know this is getting long, but there were a few highlights worth celebrating:
In addition to being a PR, this is another BQ. Not that I plan to do Boston in 2021, but still, it’s something! I don’t want to take for granted that I did this thing so many strive toward.
My friends showed up for me AGAIN, and it made a huge difference for me. I’m so thankful for friends who are kick-ass, supportive people who also find joy in spectating at races.
I ran a half marathon personal best along the way, thanks to the stronger first half. 1:40:30. Which reminded me I have never put myself in a good position to race a half (I’ve only raced a handful in total), and maybe that’s what I need first to help me level up to that 3:15. Lighting a spark for a new goal is always a win in my book.
This was the first marathon I didn’t have to stop to pee, and I swear I never thought I’d pull that off, and it feels like such a major victory.
I got to cheer on my friend Emma and get in a few steps with her in mile 25 of her race. Louie and I hung out to see most of the pace groups pass through, so I got to cheer for a lot of runners and even had the energy to dance a little.
One of my favorite moments was a guy at the beginning yelling something like: “Oh my god, I am so glad to be around all of you people! I have been working in my basement for months and here we are!” Same, man, same. Well, not the basement part, but everything else. It felt great to be running at a real, live road race with other people.
The details:
Carmel Marathon in Carmel, Indiana
April 3, 2021
Marathon #15
Weather: 31 at the start, 10 mph winds; warming to mid-50s and sunny
Finish time: 3:35:08
p.s. You know there was post race pizza. Mmmmm…
